1 00:00:03,259 --> 00:00:05,261 After Mr. Cooper told Mrs. Cooper 2 00:00:05,344 --> 00:00:07,304 that Betty had been dancing in her window, 3 00:00:07,388 --> 00:00:11,559 in her skivvies, for Archie's, uh, benefit, 4 00:00:12,226 --> 00:00:14,854 Mrs. Cooper phoned Hollywood, California, 5 00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:15,855 So no wonder... 6 00:00:15,938 --> 00:00:19,650 to give Hermione Lodge a good old-fashioned East Coast what for 7 00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:23,070 since Veronica had supplied the skivvies in question. 8 00:00:25,072 --> 00:00:27,450 Then Alice rang her good friend Penelope Blossom 9 00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:30,494 for advice about what to do, mother to mother. 10 00:00:30,578 --> 00:00:33,414 Well, I can't say I'm surprised. 11 00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:35,708 By what, Mother? 12 00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:41,297 Operator, can you put me through to Stratford, 747? 13 00:00:42,256 --> 00:00:46,093 Alice Cooper needs help saving her little hussy of a daughter. 14 00:00:47,762 --> 00:00:50,306 Agnes. You won't believe... 15 00:00:50,389 --> 00:00:53,893 So by morning, everyone knew some version of what had happened, 16 00:00:53,976 --> 00:00:55,603 most of it untrue. 17 00:00:55,686 --> 00:00:58,564 And repercussions were being felt far and near. 18 00:00:58,647 --> 00:01:02,234 - She's never gonna talk to me, is she? - Your mother just needs to understand 19 00:01:02,318 --> 00:01:04,320 that you're a red-blooded American young man, 20 00:01:04,403 --> 00:01:07,573 and that Betty, well, she's a voluptuous, ripe peach of a girl. 21 00:01:09,241 --> 00:01:12,036 I just... I'm so embarrassed, Uncle Frank. 22 00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:15,039 Well, were you caught with your pants down? 23 00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:18,751 Yes. Was what you were doing a little raunchy? 24 00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:20,544 Well, maybe. 25 00:01:21,086 --> 00:01:24,548 But I'd be more worried if you weren't showing an interest in that kitten. 26 00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:26,717 But for now, just keep up with your schoolwork, 27 00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:29,303 focus on the basketball team, stay away from Betty. 28 00:01:30,095 --> 00:01:33,557 Take plenty of cold showers, and we'll get you through this, Archie. 29 00:01:33,641 --> 00:01:35,142 - All right? - Yeah. 30 00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:37,477 Good. 31 00:01:42,691 --> 00:01:45,486 You cannot parade around naked in front of boys. 32 00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:48,697 Okay, again, Archie and I were not naked. 33 00:01:48,781 --> 00:01:50,241 We were just... 34 00:01:51,408 --> 00:01:52,284 having fun. 35 00:01:52,368 --> 00:01:55,788 We were in separate houses, Mom. What did you think was gonna happen? 36 00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:57,998 With you, anything's possible. 37 00:01:58,582 --> 00:02:00,000 Which is why, starting today, 38 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:03,462 you will be cutting a rug on Riverdale Grandstand. 39 00:02:03,546 --> 00:02:05,005 Mom, no. 40 00:02:05,089 --> 00:02:07,508 Mom, I don't wanna be part of Dad's dance show. 41 00:02:07,591 --> 00:02:11,095 Only nerds and squares are on Dad's dance show. 42 00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:13,305 All right, enough of the sass, young lady. 43 00:02:13,389 --> 00:02:16,642 You will be dancing from 3 to 6 every afternoon after school. 44 00:02:16,725 --> 00:02:19,270 We will make sure that you're nice and tuckered out 45 00:02:19,353 --> 00:02:21,522 so there's no more late-night shows 46 00:02:21,605 --> 00:02:25,067 with your pinky out of jail for oversexed young men like Archie. 47 00:02:25,151 --> 00:02:29,864 If I catch wind of you even saying hello to that redheaded pervert, well... 48 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,826 You don't wanna see me frosted, young lady. 49 00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:42,918 ♪ Tweedle-y, tweedle-y, tweedle-y dee ♪ 50 00:02:45,045 --> 00:02:48,924 ♪ I'm as happy as can be... ♪ 51 00:02:49,008 --> 00:02:50,801 Miss Veronica, pardon the interruption, 52 00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:54,221 but a telegram arrived from your parents, miss. 53 00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:59,268 They must still be peeved about Mrs. Cooper snitching on me. 54 00:03:01,353 --> 00:03:04,899 "'Mija, you have been a bad girl.' Stop. 55 00:03:05,524 --> 00:03:07,484 'Time to teach you a lesson.' Stop. 56 00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:09,612 'No more allowance.' Stop. 57 00:03:10,195 --> 00:03:15,075 'Report for work at the Babylonium Theater today at 3:30, sharp.' Stop." 58 00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:20,998 They're suspending my allowance and making me get an after-school job? 59 00:03:21,832 --> 00:03:23,459 Smithers, this is child abuse. 60 00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:29,548 If they think they can break my spirit as if I were a filly, 61 00:03:29,632 --> 00:03:31,717 they're in for a rude awakening. 62 00:03:43,812 --> 00:03:44,813 Hey, Dad. 63 00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:47,691 Kevin, what are you doing with this? 64 00:03:49,485 --> 00:03:52,154 Uh, it's... That's a bodybuilding magazine. 65 00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:55,157 Where did you get that from, 66 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:57,826 that new pal of yours, that Clay character? 67 00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:59,578 His name's Clay Walker. No. 68 00:03:59,662 --> 00:04:02,623 Uh, no, Dad. What...? What's going on? 69 00:04:03,415 --> 00:04:04,416 I don't know. 70 00:04:06,085 --> 00:04:07,294 I don't know, Kevin. 71 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:10,506 I mean, you cut your girlfriend loose, 72 00:04:10,589 --> 00:04:13,217 you started hanging around with strange boys, 73 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:17,304 and you're reading magazines like this. 74 00:04:19,598 --> 00:04:21,433 I don't like much of any of it. 75 00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:27,773 Meanwhile, I was wracked by guilt 76 00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,566 over the fact that I betrayed my idol, 77 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:32,236 the science fiction writer Brad Rayberry, when... 78 00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:33,862 Mr. Jones. 79 00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,032 Featherhead called me on the carpet. 80 00:04:41,829 --> 00:04:43,247 Care to explain this? 81 00:04:43,956 --> 00:04:46,500 I have a part-time gig writing comic books after school. 82 00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:49,253 The content, Mr. Jones, is what we're concerned about. 83 00:04:49,336 --> 00:04:53,090 The violent, gruesome, highly sexualized content, 84 00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:57,261 all happening to students clearly inspired by your peers here at Riverdale. 85 00:04:57,928 --> 00:05:04,310 Aren't you ashamed to be associated with such reprehensible dreck? 86 00:05:04,393 --> 00:05:07,396 No, actually, I'm quite proud to have my name on that cover. 87 00:05:07,479 --> 00:05:11,275 And whose beeswax is it anyway what I do with my time after school? 88 00:05:12,359 --> 00:05:15,029 If we were to learn that one of our students was involved 89 00:05:15,112 --> 00:05:17,323 in the creation and distribution of pornography, 90 00:05:17,406 --> 00:05:19,992 we would absolutely expel them. 91 00:05:21,201 --> 00:05:24,371 This is a comic book, sir. This isn't a porno mag. 92 00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:27,958 Well, we don't see them as so very different, Mr. Jones. 93 00:05:28,042 --> 00:05:32,379 Both are inappropriate for children, both twist their minds and souls. 94 00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:33,964 Cut the gas. 95 00:05:34,048 --> 00:05:37,217 That's the biggest load of hooey that's ever been laid on me in my life. 96 00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:39,136 It's very simple, Mr. Jones. 97 00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:42,473 Sign this agreement stating that you'll no longer write 98 00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:46,060 horror and crime comic books, and you'll remain a student here. 99 00:05:46,769 --> 00:05:48,103 Refuse to sign it, 100 00:05:48,187 --> 00:05:50,355 and we will take steps to have you expelled. 101 00:06:01,992 --> 00:06:03,552 - Oh, my God. - There she is. 102 00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:16,005 Andrews! 103 00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:34,399 Can I ask, how far did you get? 104 00:06:34,983 --> 00:06:36,735 I'm hearing conflicting reports. 105 00:06:36,819 --> 00:06:39,947 All we did was look at each other. 106 00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:43,992 My favorite words in English, "You can look, but you can't touch." 107 00:06:44,076 --> 00:06:47,037 Well, Archie and I won't be touching any time soon. 108 00:06:47,121 --> 00:06:49,289 Or looking, for that matter. 109 00:06:49,373 --> 00:06:53,293 Especially not now that I'm on my dad's grody dance show every day. 110 00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:55,587 - Riverdale Grandstand? - Mm-hm. 111 00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:57,172 I haven't seen it myself. 112 00:06:57,256 --> 00:07:00,676 You know television makes my skin crawl, but it seems like it could be a kick. 113 00:07:00,759 --> 00:07:02,094 It's a bash. 114 00:07:02,177 --> 00:07:04,388 More than that, it's an honor. 115 00:07:04,888 --> 00:07:07,933 One, as dance captain, I take very seriously. 116 00:07:08,016 --> 00:07:12,187 Cheryl, how and why are you a dance captain on Riverdale Grandstand? 117 00:07:12,271 --> 00:07:14,857 Her parents are RIVW's biggest sponsor. 118 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:18,068 I do my part as dance captain and spokeswoman. 119 00:07:18,152 --> 00:07:21,655 - Vee, why don't you join the dance show? - Absolutely not. 120 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:24,950 I would love to, 121 00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:29,455 but I'm starting my new job at the movie theater this afternoon. 122 00:07:29,538 --> 00:07:32,749 Part of my punishment for encouraging the corruption of minors. 123 00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:37,296 Speaking of that, here's a list of rules for participants, Betty, 124 00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:39,590 in case you get any more pervy ideas. 125 00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:42,342 "No chewing gum, dress code strictly enforced, 126 00:07:42,426 --> 00:07:45,095 no kissing, no groin-on-groin contact." 127 00:07:45,179 --> 00:07:47,556 See you at 3:30. On the dot. 128 00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:13,874 Have fun now, Kevin. 129 00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,587 Everybody, bring it in. 130 00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:23,717 I'm sure most of you know your classmate Kevin Keller, 131 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,178 but as of today, he's the newest member of our team, 132 00:08:26,261 --> 00:08:28,347 so let's give him a big Bulldog welcome. 133 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,520 Swell. Just what we need, a cream puff Bulldog. 134 00:09:01,129 --> 00:09:03,840 She's a knockout, isn't she? 135 00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:07,344 Yes, she is. Fat city. 136 00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:10,472 And you must be my new boss, Mr. Lemley. 137 00:09:10,556 --> 00:09:11,765 Veronica Lodge. 138 00:09:12,349 --> 00:09:15,769 And, please, whatever arrangement my parents made with you, 139 00:09:15,852 --> 00:09:19,690 let me assure you, movie theaters are my happy place. 140 00:09:19,773 --> 00:09:23,360 They have been ever since I attended my first picture show, Babes in Arms. 141 00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:27,447 So, what's my job? Ticket taker? Popcorn girl? Usherette? 142 00:09:27,531 --> 00:09:28,782 All of the above. 143 00:09:28,865 --> 00:09:31,368 These days, I can only afford a skeleton crew. 144 00:09:31,451 --> 00:09:33,954 - That's pretty much you, me... - And me. 145 00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:40,627 I run the projector, and try to keep on top of repairs 146 00:09:40,711 --> 00:09:42,838 so that this place doesn't collapse on itself. 147 00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:45,257 - Enchanté, Clay. - Enchanté. 148 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,342 I look forward to getting to know you better 149 00:09:47,426 --> 00:09:49,052 and being part of the team. 150 00:09:49,136 --> 00:09:50,846 All right, kids. 151 00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:53,265 It's time for the Bop. 152 00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:58,645 ♪ I do what, do what, do whatta do ♪ 153 00:09:58,729 --> 00:10:01,481 ♪ I do what, do what, do whatta do ♪ 154 00:10:01,565 --> 00:10:04,067 ♪ I do what, do what, do whatta do ♪ 155 00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:06,361 ♪ I do what, do what, do whatta do ♪ 156 00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:09,364 ♪ I do whatta do ♪ 157 00:10:09,448 --> 00:10:11,867 ♪ Well, they call it this And you call it that ♪ 158 00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:15,078 ♪ Say do this job, dig this cat... ♪ 159 00:10:16,496 --> 00:10:18,415 Betty, why aren't you dancing? 160 00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:21,335 Because I don't wanna be here, and I don't wanna dance. 161 00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:22,544 You have to dance. 162 00:10:22,628 --> 00:10:24,713 It's bad for ratings if the camera pans this way 163 00:10:24,796 --> 00:10:27,066 and catches the daughter of our beloved host with the most 164 00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:28,800 acting like a canceled stamp. 165 00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:31,178 What do you what me to do? Everyone's paired up. 166 00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:33,639 That's not true. What about Dilton? 167 00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:38,560 He hasn't had a steady partner since Ethel went to Sisters of Quiet Mercy. 168 00:10:38,644 --> 00:10:42,064 - Just don't maul him, for Pete's sake. - Fine. 169 00:10:48,695 --> 00:10:50,280 Just checking in. 170 00:10:50,364 --> 00:10:53,075 - Don't stay up too late, now. - Hey, Uncle Frank, um... 171 00:10:54,993 --> 00:10:58,080 What were you and Sheriff Keller talking about at practice today? 172 00:10:58,163 --> 00:11:01,124 Oh, that he wants Kevin to get more into sports. 173 00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:03,752 He thinks he could use some better male role models, 174 00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:05,796 regular Joes like me and you. 175 00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,341 Is something wrong with Kevin? 176 00:11:12,719 --> 00:11:13,887 Well, 177 00:11:14,971 --> 00:11:19,810 sometimes boys get confused on how they're supposed to act. 178 00:11:19,893 --> 00:11:23,021 But don't worry, Archie. I promised Tom. You and me, 179 00:11:23,897 --> 00:11:25,524 we'll straighten Kevin out. 180 00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:41,331 Hey, Kev. Hey, what are you doing during lunch? 181 00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:45,168 I thought maybe we could hang out, shoot some baskets. 182 00:11:46,795 --> 00:11:47,838 Yeah, sure. 183 00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:49,297 Gee, that's swell. 184 00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:50,966 I'll see you in the gym. 185 00:11:51,049 --> 00:11:52,384 Catch you later, Clay. 186 00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:09,985 Mr. Rayberry. 187 00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:12,654 I was wondering if I could trade this check in for cash. 188 00:12:13,613 --> 00:12:14,865 I don't trust banks. 189 00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:16,575 Sure, Mr. Rayberry. 190 00:12:17,826 --> 00:12:18,994 Let me talk to Payroll. 191 00:12:20,537 --> 00:12:21,621 Thank you. 192 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:24,374 - Again, I'm so sorry I... - It's 12:30. 193 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,877 Shouldn't you be in school? 194 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,629 - I might have dropped out. - Why? 195 00:12:29,713 --> 00:12:34,134 Well, the finks at the top said that if I don't stop writing comic books 196 00:12:34,217 --> 00:12:36,344 and corrupting America's youth, 197 00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:39,389 that I'll be expelled for some cooked-up malarkey, 198 00:12:39,473 --> 00:12:41,516 so I beat feet. 199 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,642 Huh. 200 00:12:43,477 --> 00:12:44,603 Hope it's worth it. 201 00:12:48,148 --> 00:12:49,900 What time is your lunch break, anyway? 202 00:12:52,486 --> 00:12:53,945 Any time, I guess. 203 00:12:59,493 --> 00:13:03,205 Hey, Kev. You know, you and I have been in the same grade since kindergarten. 204 00:13:05,999 --> 00:13:08,585 Why basketball? Why now? 205 00:13:08,668 --> 00:13:10,462 Uh, it was my dad's idea. 206 00:13:11,796 --> 00:13:14,674 I just think he wants me to be a regular guy, 207 00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:15,926 less of an off horse. 208 00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:18,053 I mean, what does that even mean? 209 00:13:19,095 --> 00:13:21,056 You know, a guy who likes sports, 210 00:13:21,139 --> 00:13:25,560 who, um, does like what you did with Betty. 211 00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:31,441 Who isn't interested in things like poetry, and drama, 212 00:13:31,525 --> 00:13:34,152 and music, and movie stars, and... 213 00:13:34,236 --> 00:13:37,489 - I like those things. - Well, yeah, but you're... 214 00:13:40,325 --> 00:13:43,620 What? What am I? 215 00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:45,580 You're normal, Archie. You're normal. 216 00:13:46,498 --> 00:13:48,542 Kevin, so are you. 217 00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:52,212 Yeah, I wanna be, more than anything. 218 00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:55,840 I just wanna be like everybody else. 219 00:13:59,219 --> 00:14:00,428 Ooh. 220 00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:13,608 Again, and for the rest of my life, I would like to apologize. 221 00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:15,735 For stealing and reading my novel. 222 00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:19,823 - For that, yeah. It was a chump move. - Mm. Mm-hm. 223 00:14:19,906 --> 00:14:21,950 You had every right to bite my head off. 224 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,033 I did. 225 00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:25,579 That said, I, um... 226 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,041 I may have, uh, overreacted. 227 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:33,628 No, I totally understand why you were being protective 228 00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:36,256 over The Jupiter Journals, Mr. Rayberry. I... 229 00:14:37,757 --> 00:14:39,384 I think it's a masterpiece. 230 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,510 Huh. 231 00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:44,890 If I wrote that manuscript, I think I could die a happy man. 232 00:14:44,973 --> 00:14:48,476 Well, before we start planning your funeral, 233 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,104 let's talk about you dropping out of school. 234 00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:54,065 You should go back. Education is important. 235 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:58,028 I just don't really see why I have to choose 236 00:14:58,111 --> 00:15:00,697 between writing comic books and getting an education. 237 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:01,780 You shouldn't. 238 00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:04,492 And this, young sir, 239 00:15:04,576 --> 00:15:08,163 is what is known as a Gordian knot. 240 00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:13,793 So tell me everything you know about this Werthers clown. 241 00:15:13,877 --> 00:15:17,964 Who he is, where he comes from, what he's about, what he believes. 242 00:15:20,008 --> 00:15:22,302 Fellas, an announcement. 243 00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:25,263 Let's give a proud woof for Rogers here, 244 00:15:25,347 --> 00:15:29,726 who finally did the dirty deed with Jenny Stevens last night, 245 00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:33,188 in the back of his dad's Thunderbird no less. 246 00:15:34,773 --> 00:15:38,944 Between Rogers and Andrews' X-rated peep show with Betty Cooper, 247 00:15:39,027 --> 00:15:41,988 we might wanna rename our team the Horndogs. 248 00:15:43,907 --> 00:15:47,077 Question is, which one of you fruitcakes is next? 249 00:15:47,869 --> 00:15:50,997 Can't be a real man unless you've gone all the way with a woman. 250 00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:54,000 We all know Fogarty's solid. You and Midge, right? 251 00:15:54,084 --> 00:15:56,503 That's none of your beeswax there, Blossom. 252 00:15:56,586 --> 00:15:58,755 A man of mystery. Okay. 253 00:16:00,507 --> 00:16:01,925 What about you, Keller? 254 00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:04,803 What about you, Julian? 255 00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:07,639 Pretty sure you're still a virgin. 256 00:16:07,722 --> 00:16:09,349 Uh, keep dreaming. 257 00:16:09,849 --> 00:16:12,560 Crossed into the promised land on my 16th birthday, 258 00:16:13,269 --> 00:16:15,355 when my dad took me to see Twyla Twyst. 259 00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:16,690 Who's Twyla Twyst? 260 00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:20,860 A floozy who works out of the Cozy Time Motel behind the school. 261 00:16:20,944 --> 00:16:22,946 Spend one night with her, 262 00:16:23,655 --> 00:16:26,366 heck, even one hour, and you'll never be the same. 263 00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:29,828 What do you say, Keller? 264 00:16:31,037 --> 00:16:32,038 You up for it? 265 00:16:32,122 --> 00:16:34,666 - Put a lid on it, Julian. Kevin... - Yeah. 266 00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:36,501 I'll do it. I'll go see her. 267 00:16:37,711 --> 00:16:40,922 Attaboy, Keller. That's the spirit. 268 00:16:41,006 --> 00:16:42,632 Let me know when and where. 269 00:16:46,803 --> 00:16:49,180 So, Clay, bring me up to speed. 270 00:16:50,348 --> 00:16:52,475 Am I sensing you're a fellow cinephile? 271 00:16:53,184 --> 00:16:56,187 It's actually what I wanna study in college, filmmaking. 272 00:16:57,355 --> 00:17:00,191 I know it sounds nutty as a can of peanuts, 273 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:04,612 but I dream of one day inspiring people like my hero inspired me. 274 00:17:04,696 --> 00:17:06,448 - Oscar Micheaux. - Who's he? 275 00:17:06,531 --> 00:17:07,657 A Black director. 276 00:17:07,741 --> 00:17:10,744 He started at the same time as D. W. Griffith and Mary Pickford. 277 00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:14,414 Well, if we're indulging in pipe dreams today, 278 00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:18,293 I've never been crazy about being in front of the cameras, 279 00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:20,712 but I do love being near them. 280 00:17:21,796 --> 00:17:26,760 Well, maybe your destiny is to run a studio one day, 281 00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:29,387 and then you can hire me to direct my first movie. 282 00:17:30,889 --> 00:17:31,931 Deal. 283 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:38,438 Oh, Mr. Lemley, when does our rush begin? 284 00:17:39,856 --> 00:17:41,691 Um, you're looking at it. 285 00:17:41,775 --> 00:17:43,735 Seems like it's gonna be another slow night. 286 00:17:43,818 --> 00:17:49,115 Uh, slow is one thing, but graveyard-like is another. 287 00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:50,241 What gives? 288 00:17:50,325 --> 00:17:53,745 TV has taken a Dracula-sized bite out of our business. 289 00:17:53,828 --> 00:17:58,541 Also, that new drive-in that's just opened up, the Starlight, 290 00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:00,668 doesn't help either. 291 00:18:00,752 --> 00:18:04,964 Excuse me, living rooms and drive-ins cannot compete 292 00:18:05,048 --> 00:18:09,719 with the experience of seeing a movie in a palace like the Babylonium. 293 00:18:10,428 --> 00:18:12,180 People need to be reminded of that. 294 00:18:12,263 --> 00:18:14,766 How about an ad in the Riverdale Register? 295 00:18:15,558 --> 00:18:19,771 Or what about a commercial on television 296 00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:23,066 aired during Riverdale Grandstand? 297 00:18:23,149 --> 00:18:24,818 All the kids will see it that way. 298 00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:30,865 Dancing up a storm sure is hard work. 299 00:18:30,949 --> 00:18:33,052 That's why I like to fortify myself throughout the day 300 00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:35,245 with hearty helpings of Blossom maple syrup. 301 00:18:35,328 --> 00:18:37,223 - Try it on your pancakes... - Waffles... 302 00:18:37,247 --> 00:18:40,125 - Biscuits... - And even your favorite ice cream. 303 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,794 Nine out of 10 Americans agree there is nothing quite like 304 00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:45,004 the extra sweet flavor of Blossom maple syrup. 305 00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:47,590 And remember, kids, it's not just for breakfast anymore. 306 00:18:47,674 --> 00:18:49,926 Now in economy-sized tins. 307 00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,011 And cut! 308 00:18:54,305 --> 00:18:59,102 All right, kids, let's swing again to "Listen to Me, Baby." 309 00:18:59,185 --> 00:19:01,813 ♪ Open your ears Hear what I've got to say ♪ 310 00:19:02,647 --> 00:19:06,901 ♪ Whoa, oh, open your ears Hear what I've got to say ♪ 311 00:19:06,985 --> 00:19:08,069 Hey there. 312 00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:09,988 It's Betty, right? 313 00:19:11,531 --> 00:19:14,909 I'm Troy. My usual partner, Judy, has the mumps. 314 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:17,120 Wanna let me take you out for a spin? 315 00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:19,372 Sure, you might as well. 316 00:19:19,455 --> 00:19:20,623 Now, that's swell. 317 00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:32,677 ♪ All I have to keep me Is my memories of you... ♪ 318 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,054 ♪ I sit alone at night... ♪ 319 00:19:35,138 --> 00:19:36,264 So is it true? 320 00:19:39,058 --> 00:19:43,146 That you, uh, like it when guys watch you? 321 00:19:44,606 --> 00:19:46,941 I don't know what you're talking about. 322 00:19:47,859 --> 00:19:50,528 Come on, fess up. I mean, we've all heard the story. 323 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:56,326 After we wrap here, how about you and I go down to the river, 324 00:19:56,409 --> 00:19:59,913 you can put on a little private show for me? 325 00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:00,996 Will you? 326 00:20:02,373 --> 00:20:04,042 Get your paws off me, you creep. 327 00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:09,130 Betty. Betty. 328 00:20:09,672 --> 00:20:11,966 You cannot do that on live television. 329 00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:14,177 Attagirl. 330 00:20:17,722 --> 00:20:20,350 For the 100th time, it wasn't my fault. 331 00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:22,352 Troy got fresh with me. He grabbed my... 332 00:20:22,435 --> 00:20:26,231 If he did, it's because you have created a fast reputation. 333 00:20:26,314 --> 00:20:28,983 I barely touched him. 334 00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:31,027 What is the matter with you? 335 00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:32,904 You know what would solve this problem? 336 00:20:32,987 --> 00:20:34,822 If you let me off Riverdale Grandstand. 337 00:20:34,906 --> 00:20:38,576 You know what? I'll have a little chat with all of the young men on our show, 338 00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:41,204 and no one is going to dance with you. 339 00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:44,374 Wait. So, what am I gonna be doing then? 340 00:20:44,457 --> 00:20:47,502 You can sit in the corner and stew like a sourpuss for all I care. 341 00:20:52,632 --> 00:20:53,758 Hi, Mr. Rayberry. 342 00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:56,386 Oh, I'm sorry. Can I come in? 343 00:20:56,469 --> 00:20:59,097 Sure, as long as you don't swipe anything. 344 00:20:59,639 --> 00:21:02,725 Look, I've been thinking about it. I don't wanna give up writing. 345 00:21:02,809 --> 00:21:04,769 My high school diploma be damned. 346 00:21:04,852 --> 00:21:07,981 I agree. And you're right, you shouldn't stop writing. 347 00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:09,607 But you do need a front. 348 00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:10,900 - A cover. - A front? 349 00:21:10,984 --> 00:21:13,861 I have friends in Hollywood who were blacklisted 350 00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:19,826 when McCarthy was ringing the alarm on the so-called communist threat, 351 00:21:19,909 --> 00:21:23,079 and, uh, they kept writing, but under pseudonyms. 352 00:21:23,663 --> 00:21:25,331 You should do that. Hmm? 353 00:21:26,124 --> 00:21:28,126 Publish what you want under a different name, 354 00:21:28,209 --> 00:21:29,961 and Werthers will be none the wiser. 355 00:21:30,044 --> 00:21:33,006 Yeah, but do you really think that Werthers is gonna buy 356 00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:35,008 that I just quit writing comic books altogether? 357 00:21:35,091 --> 00:21:37,093 It's so simplistic, no? 358 00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:38,594 Not if you muddy the waters. 359 00:21:38,678 --> 00:21:40,805 Like if you tell Werthers 360 00:21:40,888 --> 00:21:44,183 you're shifting your focus off horror comic books 361 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:48,271 to, I don't know, happy animal comic books. 362 00:21:49,522 --> 00:21:51,858 Yeah. Yeah, like Super Duck. 363 00:21:51,941 --> 00:21:53,276 Yeah, exactly. 364 00:21:53,943 --> 00:21:56,029 Tell Werthers you're writing Super Duck, 365 00:21:56,112 --> 00:21:58,906 uh, keep churning out the horror stories under an alias, 366 00:21:58,990 --> 00:22:00,533 and problem solved, right? 367 00:22:08,624 --> 00:22:09,625 God, Archie. 368 00:22:10,335 --> 00:22:11,502 What am I gonna do? 369 00:22:12,337 --> 00:22:13,796 What am I gonna do? 370 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,256 What am I gonna do? I... 371 00:22:18,134 --> 00:22:19,134 Listen. 372 00:22:19,844 --> 00:22:22,305 Just put yourself in her hands, Kevin. 373 00:22:22,388 --> 00:22:24,348 Let nature take its course. 374 00:22:24,432 --> 00:22:25,767 Is that how your first time went? 375 00:22:29,896 --> 00:22:30,896 Kevin. 376 00:22:32,273 --> 00:22:33,733 I'm still a virgin too. 377 00:22:33,816 --> 00:22:35,151 You are? 378 00:22:35,985 --> 00:22:37,278 Yeah. 379 00:22:40,531 --> 00:22:42,241 Well, doesn't that beat all. 380 00:22:43,409 --> 00:22:45,078 If I'm a virgin and you're a virgin, 381 00:22:45,161 --> 00:22:47,205 why do I have to go to Twyla and you don't? 382 00:22:47,288 --> 00:22:49,707 Why do I have to prove something and you don't? 383 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:52,418 It's funny how the world works, isn't it? 384 00:23:06,516 --> 00:23:09,727 We're so pleased you've come to your senses, Mr. Jones. 385 00:23:09,811 --> 00:23:12,105 Just hold your horses. We have some stipulations. 386 00:23:13,189 --> 00:23:16,484 And what exactly is your interest in this, Mr. Rayberry? 387 00:23:16,567 --> 00:23:18,528 How do you even know Mr. Jones? 388 00:23:19,445 --> 00:23:22,532 Well, we are colleagues at Pep Comics. 389 00:23:22,615 --> 00:23:26,327 And I just most recently started to mentor Jughead. 390 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:29,038 How, uh, magnanimous of you. 391 00:23:30,123 --> 00:23:33,501 Jughead agrees to stop writing horror comics, per this agreement. 392 00:23:33,584 --> 00:23:36,337 But I will continue to write comics for Pep. 393 00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:38,840 Specifically Super Duck. 394 00:23:38,923 --> 00:23:41,509 It's wholesome, family-friendly fare. 395 00:23:41,592 --> 00:23:43,761 Unobjectionable, you might say. 396 00:23:44,262 --> 00:23:46,347 Well, although we appreciate 397 00:23:46,430 --> 00:23:50,017 Jughead's curbing the violent content of his previous work... 398 00:23:50,101 --> 00:23:53,146 Okay, let's cut the bull, doc. Okay? 399 00:23:53,646 --> 00:23:57,441 What you were doing to my mentee is unconstitutional. 400 00:23:59,277 --> 00:24:01,112 And if you continue to harass him, 401 00:24:01,195 --> 00:24:03,906 I am prepared to escalate this as far as we need to go. 402 00:24:03,990 --> 00:24:07,201 Are you talking about the PTA, Mr. Rayberry? 403 00:24:07,285 --> 00:24:09,287 Oh, I'm not talking about the PTA. 404 00:24:09,370 --> 00:24:12,957 I'm talking about a little organization called the U.S. Supreme Court. 405 00:24:14,959 --> 00:24:18,713 So how does "Jones v. Board of Education" sound to you? 406 00:24:18,796 --> 00:24:22,300 I'm curious if the justices would take the same stance regarding comic books 407 00:24:22,383 --> 00:24:23,926 as you do, Mr. Werthers. 408 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,598 Namely, that they are as problematic as hardcore pornography? 409 00:24:28,681 --> 00:24:31,809 Gentlemen, let's not lose our heads. 410 00:24:31,893 --> 00:24:35,646 I'm sure none of us wanna blow this thing out of proportion. 411 00:24:35,730 --> 00:24:37,064 And I'm not an expert, 412 00:24:37,148 --> 00:24:41,277 but it seems to me that this Super Duck character is, uh... 413 00:24:43,112 --> 00:24:44,112 Quite harmless. 414 00:24:48,284 --> 00:24:50,244 Wouldn't you agree, Dr. Werthers? 415 00:24:52,205 --> 00:24:54,457 Yes. For the moment. 416 00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:55,583 Great. 417 00:24:55,666 --> 00:24:57,543 Well, this was just tops. 418 00:24:58,544 --> 00:25:00,087 So glad to be back. 419 00:25:05,301 --> 00:25:11,015 ♪ I've been waiting a long time ♪ 420 00:25:11,599 --> 00:25:14,352 ♪ Just waiting... ♪ 421 00:25:14,435 --> 00:25:17,897 So, baby, Julian tells me you're cruising for a good time. 422 00:25:23,027 --> 00:25:25,279 Come. Dance with me. 423 00:25:29,408 --> 00:25:31,244 You can follow my lead. 424 00:25:32,578 --> 00:25:34,455 Let Twyla take care of you. 425 00:25:43,923 --> 00:25:44,757 Hello. 426 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:45,840 Cooper. 427 00:25:49,136 --> 00:25:50,596 Here you go. Thank you. 428 00:25:55,351 --> 00:25:56,477 Betty. 429 00:25:57,061 --> 00:25:58,061 Archie. 430 00:25:59,939 --> 00:26:01,148 Thank you. 431 00:26:01,941 --> 00:26:03,442 Uh, what are you up to? 432 00:26:05,152 --> 00:26:06,404 Oh, you know, just... 433 00:26:07,196 --> 00:26:09,782 picking up dinner on my way home from the studio. 434 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,287 Say, uh, Betty. 435 00:26:15,579 --> 00:26:16,789 Can I ask you something? 436 00:26:18,165 --> 00:26:19,165 Yeah. 437 00:26:21,377 --> 00:26:22,420 Um... 438 00:26:24,046 --> 00:26:26,632 When you and Kevin were dating... 439 00:26:28,009 --> 00:26:29,009 what...? 440 00:26:29,051 --> 00:26:30,636 How was he? 441 00:26:31,345 --> 00:26:33,723 - What do you mean? - I don't know. Uh, well... 442 00:26:35,057 --> 00:26:38,853 his dad's got it into his head that Kevin's funny, you know? 443 00:26:38,936 --> 00:26:40,688 An off horse. 444 00:26:40,771 --> 00:26:42,398 A little girly, I guess? 445 00:26:47,403 --> 00:26:50,323 Archie, you don't expect me to kiss and tell, do you? 446 00:26:50,406 --> 00:26:51,324 No. 447 00:26:51,407 --> 00:26:52,825 No, of course not. 448 00:26:54,243 --> 00:26:57,913 Anyway, hopefully after tonight, Kevin will straighten out and fly right. 449 00:26:57,997 --> 00:27:00,374 What do you mean? Why? What's happening tonight? 450 00:27:01,584 --> 00:27:04,879 Nothing. God, I shouldn't have said anything. 451 00:27:04,962 --> 00:27:07,673 Archie, what do you mean? Tell me what's happening tonight. 452 00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:14,096 Kevin, don't do it! 453 00:27:18,726 --> 00:27:19,935 Oh, God. 454 00:27:20,895 --> 00:27:22,688 Am I too late? Did something bad happen? 455 00:27:23,898 --> 00:27:26,650 The only thing that happened in here was a whole lot of nothing. 456 00:27:28,110 --> 00:27:30,821 We were having a little dance party, 457 00:27:30,905 --> 00:27:33,366 I let down my hair a little, 458 00:27:33,449 --> 00:27:37,286 then he started bawling like a baby, saying, "I can't do it." 459 00:27:42,291 --> 00:27:44,668 But tonight might not be a total bust. 460 00:27:45,252 --> 00:27:46,170 Come here, sugar. 461 00:27:46,253 --> 00:27:48,589 You're a hunk and a half. Come to Twyla. 462 00:27:48,672 --> 00:27:50,674 I'm just here for my friend. 463 00:27:53,135 --> 00:27:55,096 Oh, he's your friend, is he? 464 00:27:56,013 --> 00:27:57,098 That makes sense. 465 00:27:57,848 --> 00:27:58,933 Twyla knows the score. 466 00:27:59,016 --> 00:28:01,018 She's been around the block more than once. 467 00:28:01,852 --> 00:28:02,852 Take him. 468 00:28:03,354 --> 00:28:04,688 He's all yours. 469 00:28:05,856 --> 00:28:07,483 Come on, Kev. Let's split. 470 00:28:11,153 --> 00:28:12,673 Why'd you come get me, Archie? 471 00:28:13,739 --> 00:28:15,074 I ran into Betty at Pop's. 472 00:28:16,409 --> 00:28:19,078 I told her what was going on and she blew a gasket. 473 00:28:19,161 --> 00:28:20,371 She said I had to... 474 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,625 come and save you from doing something that might scar you for life. 475 00:28:24,708 --> 00:28:26,544 Boy, was she frosted. 476 00:28:26,627 --> 00:28:28,712 What am I gonna say to the guys, Archie? 477 00:28:28,796 --> 00:28:31,173 When they find out what happened, what didn't happen, 478 00:28:31,257 --> 00:28:32,883 it'll be the end of me. 479 00:28:32,967 --> 00:28:35,261 I'm never gonna be a normal fella. 480 00:28:35,344 --> 00:28:36,846 Hey, what about this? 481 00:28:36,929 --> 00:28:39,849 We're gonna tell them that you made it with Twyla. 482 00:28:39,932 --> 00:28:42,017 That you went all the way. I'll back you up. 483 00:28:42,101 --> 00:28:44,061 And I'll give you some things to say. 484 00:28:44,562 --> 00:28:45,688 Things that I've... 485 00:28:46,689 --> 00:28:48,816 read in magazines or heard my Uncle Frank say. 486 00:28:51,402 --> 00:28:52,695 Don't worry, Kevin. 487 00:28:54,071 --> 00:28:56,282 We're gonna get you on the stick and sell it. 488 00:28:59,869 --> 00:29:00,869 Okay. 489 00:29:04,665 --> 00:29:06,542 No matter who you are, 490 00:29:06,625 --> 00:29:08,169 hot-rodder or cheerleader, 491 00:29:08,252 --> 00:29:09,545 bookworm or jock, 492 00:29:09,628 --> 00:29:11,297 square or beatnik, 493 00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:14,341 deep down, we all yearn for the same things. 494 00:29:14,425 --> 00:29:17,386 Adventure, romance, excitement. 495 00:29:17,928 --> 00:29:20,723 Well, what if I told you that for just 49 cents, 496 00:29:20,806 --> 00:29:23,184 you could have all that and more? 497 00:29:23,267 --> 00:29:26,228 Movies have the power to transport us all over the world, 498 00:29:26,312 --> 00:29:30,149 but only if you see them in a theater like the Babylonium. 499 00:29:31,275 --> 00:29:34,820 They're magical, special places where it even feels good to cry. 500 00:29:34,904 --> 00:29:39,325 It's a scientific fact: movies are better in movie theaters. 501 00:29:39,408 --> 00:29:40,701 Come to the Babylonium 502 00:29:40,785 --> 00:29:42,995 to laugh, to cry, 503 00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:47,041 to sit in the dark and experience something powerful together, 504 00:29:47,124 --> 00:29:49,877 and fall in love with the movies again 505 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,295 for the first time. 506 00:30:02,348 --> 00:30:03,557 Well, Mr. Lemley? 507 00:30:04,308 --> 00:30:06,519 What did you think of the commercial? 508 00:30:06,602 --> 00:30:07,686 Perfection. 509 00:30:08,270 --> 00:30:11,357 So why don't you buy a few choice spots 510 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,984 and see if it gets word of mouth going? 511 00:30:14,068 --> 00:30:17,446 Veronica, I've been negotiating the sale of the Babylonium 512 00:30:17,530 --> 00:30:19,740 to an interested party for the last few months. 513 00:30:20,616 --> 00:30:22,827 The official offer finally came through. 514 00:30:23,911 --> 00:30:25,162 Who's buying it? 515 00:30:26,997 --> 00:30:29,333 Well, it's your parents. 516 00:30:30,543 --> 00:30:31,710 That's how I know them. 517 00:30:31,794 --> 00:30:32,878 My parents? 518 00:30:36,465 --> 00:30:39,468 They're not even in the movie theater business. 519 00:30:40,594 --> 00:30:42,596 They don't even appreciate movies. 520 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,348 Well, I assumed you knew. 521 00:30:45,391 --> 00:30:50,104 It's my understanding they're gonna turn the Babylonium into a parking lot. 522 00:30:54,316 --> 00:30:57,778 Mr. Rayberry, that Supreme Court bit was inspired. 523 00:30:57,862 --> 00:31:00,030 You had Dr. Werthers quaking in his boots, 524 00:31:00,114 --> 00:31:03,617 and Principal Featherhead's face was priceless. 525 00:31:03,701 --> 00:31:05,828 Straw men fall easily. 526 00:31:05,911 --> 00:31:09,123 But I'm glad, though, that you're going back to school, 527 00:31:09,206 --> 00:31:11,792 and that you get to keep writing comic books. 528 00:31:11,876 --> 00:31:14,128 Mm. I wanted to talk to you about that. 529 00:31:14,211 --> 00:31:16,213 What if you were to really be my mentor? 530 00:31:17,882 --> 00:31:18,882 I'm open. 531 00:31:20,467 --> 00:31:24,471 Let me finish this milkshake before we sign any adoption papers, huh? 532 00:31:24,555 --> 00:31:26,765 Right-o. Yeah. Yeah, of course. 533 00:31:28,183 --> 00:31:33,272 Look, I did wanna tell you, though, that I've decided to re-read my novel. 534 00:31:35,149 --> 00:31:36,317 I think it's time. 535 00:31:54,877 --> 00:31:57,046 An Edward Hopper original. 536 00:31:59,465 --> 00:32:01,216 Bet you're worth a pretty penny. 537 00:32:05,512 --> 00:32:06,764 Dad? 538 00:32:07,932 --> 00:32:09,642 You had quite an eventful evening. 539 00:32:12,061 --> 00:32:14,396 I know that you went and saw Twyla. 540 00:32:16,106 --> 00:32:17,106 How? 541 00:32:17,608 --> 00:32:18,817 Did Julian tell you? 542 00:32:19,318 --> 00:32:23,238 Only because I asked for him to suggest it to you in the first place. 543 00:32:26,325 --> 00:32:30,037 I thought maybe if the idea came from one of your classmates, 544 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,456 you might be more inclined to do it. 545 00:32:39,546 --> 00:32:41,507 - Well... - I spoke to Twyla. 546 00:32:43,008 --> 00:32:46,095 Right after Archie came and rescued you. 547 00:32:48,055 --> 00:32:49,598 She told me what happened. 548 00:32:50,224 --> 00:32:52,101 That you couldn't or wouldn't. 549 00:32:54,770 --> 00:32:56,146 That you started to cry. 550 00:33:26,051 --> 00:33:28,429 I don't know exactly what happened last night, 551 00:33:28,512 --> 00:33:30,139 but Tom just called, 552 00:33:30,222 --> 00:33:32,862 and he told me that Kevin will no longer be on the basketball team. 553 00:33:36,020 --> 00:33:37,354 Poor Tom. 554 00:33:37,438 --> 00:33:40,315 I feel for him, having a son who's bent. 555 00:33:41,775 --> 00:33:42,818 Such a shame. 556 00:33:46,989 --> 00:33:48,574 What about your breakfast? 557 00:33:48,657 --> 00:33:50,159 Lost my appetite. 558 00:33:56,832 --> 00:33:57,875 Hmm. 559 00:34:01,295 --> 00:34:05,424 I've been mulling over our conversation from yesterday, Mr. Lemley, 560 00:34:05,507 --> 00:34:08,135 and I'd like to buy the Babylonium. 561 00:34:09,970 --> 00:34:11,221 More specifically, 562 00:34:11,305 --> 00:34:15,017 I'd like to trade this painting from my personal collection 563 00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:16,310 for your theater. 564 00:34:16,393 --> 00:34:17,561 I've spoken to Crestby's, 565 00:34:17,644 --> 00:34:20,397 and I think you'll find that, on the open market, 566 00:34:20,481 --> 00:34:24,860 an original Hopper is worth much more than what my parents are offering you. 567 00:34:26,737 --> 00:34:29,823 - I'm deep in negotiations with your folks. - I know. 568 00:34:29,907 --> 00:34:30,991 But... 569 00:34:32,409 --> 00:34:35,370 our commercial wasn't false advertising. 570 00:34:36,205 --> 00:34:39,249 Going to the movies is special. 571 00:34:40,793 --> 00:34:43,253 Working here at the Babylonium, even briefly, 572 00:34:43,337 --> 00:34:45,547 has rekindled something in me. 573 00:34:46,673 --> 00:34:49,218 Plus, wouldn't you feel better 574 00:34:49,301 --> 00:34:53,347 knowing that someone's keeping the lights on and the projector running? 575 00:34:53,430 --> 00:34:58,060 Showing the Babylonium the same love and respect that you have all these years? 576 00:35:04,399 --> 00:35:06,735 I don't know. I think I messed up with Kevin, Betty. 577 00:35:06,819 --> 00:35:09,154 - I think I made things worse. - No, Arch. 578 00:35:09,238 --> 00:35:13,450 You were trying to include him, make him feel like a part of things. 579 00:35:14,201 --> 00:35:16,453 You protected him as best as you could. 580 00:35:17,621 --> 00:35:20,707 Well, isn't this a sight to behold? 581 00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,961 My mother and father wanted to invite any and all students 582 00:35:24,044 --> 00:35:26,338 to this afternoon's taping of Riverdale Grandstand. 583 00:35:26,421 --> 00:35:28,541 - Why today's? - Because it's our 50th episode 584 00:35:28,590 --> 00:35:31,677 and my parents wanna see some fresh faces on screen. 585 00:35:32,386 --> 00:35:33,595 Toodle-loo. 586 00:35:37,808 --> 00:35:39,810 I can't believe how screwed up the world is. 587 00:35:39,893 --> 00:35:41,145 I know. 588 00:35:41,228 --> 00:35:42,646 The hypocrisy. 589 00:35:42,729 --> 00:35:46,150 No matter what we're going through, what our parents are putting us through, 590 00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:50,654 as long as we show up on Grandstand smiling and dancing like trained seals, 591 00:35:50,737 --> 00:35:52,364 everything is peachy keen. 592 00:35:52,447 --> 00:35:55,450 And all the grownups do is telling us what to think, how to act. 593 00:35:55,534 --> 00:35:57,161 How to dress, who to date. 594 00:35:57,244 --> 00:36:00,956 They're trying to control our lives, and there's not a thing we can do. 595 00:36:03,709 --> 00:36:04,709 Maybe. 596 00:36:07,129 --> 00:36:08,505 But maybe not. 597 00:36:14,803 --> 00:36:17,639 ♪ My, my, my, my, my, my My, my, my ♪ 598 00:36:17,723 --> 00:36:20,559 ♪ My, my, my, my, my, my My, my, my ♪ 599 00:36:20,642 --> 00:36:23,645 ♪ My, my, my, my, my, my My, my, my ♪ 600 00:36:23,729 --> 00:36:25,939 ♪ My, my, my, my, my, my My, my, my ♪ 601 00:36:26,023 --> 00:36:30,527 ♪ Oh, talk to me, baby Whisper in my ear ♪ 602 00:36:31,987 --> 00:36:36,742 ♪ Talk to me, baby Whisper in my ear ♪ 603 00:36:37,367 --> 00:36:41,663 ♪ Come a little closer Don't have no fear ♪ 604 00:36:42,581 --> 00:36:44,291 ♪ Don't you know... ♪ 605 00:36:45,667 --> 00:36:47,502 Okay, boys and girls. 606 00:36:48,212 --> 00:36:52,841 Now it's time for America's latest dance craze. 607 00:36:54,343 --> 00:36:55,343 The twirl. 608 00:37:00,599 --> 00:37:02,935 ♪ My gal is red hot ♪ 609 00:37:03,018 --> 00:37:04,728 ♪ Your gal ain't doodly-squat ♪ 610 00:37:04,811 --> 00:37:07,898 ♪ Yes, she is My gal is red hot ♪ 611 00:37:07,981 --> 00:37:09,399 ♪ Your gal ain't doodly-squat ♪ 612 00:37:09,483 --> 00:37:12,486 ♪ She ain't got a lotta money But, loving, she's really got a lot ♪ 613 00:37:13,654 --> 00:37:16,907 ♪ Ha, ha My gal is red hot... ♪ 614 00:37:16,990 --> 00:37:18,158 - Hey. - Hey. 615 00:37:18,242 --> 00:37:21,328 You cool cats wanna see what a real twirl looks like? 616 00:37:21,912 --> 00:37:23,705 ♪ Your gal ain't doodly-squat ♪ 617 00:37:23,789 --> 00:37:27,292 ♪ She ain't got a lotta money But, loving, she's really got a lot ♪ 618 00:37:28,168 --> 00:37:30,379 ♪ My gal can do the shimmy She can do the boogie too ♪ 619 00:37:30,462 --> 00:37:33,757 ♪ And if she ain't a Jim Dandy She's a snapperoo ♪ 620 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,218 ♪ Ooh, my gal is red hot ♪ 621 00:37:36,301 --> 00:37:38,095 ♪ Your gal ain't doodly-squat ♪ 622 00:37:38,178 --> 00:37:41,431 ♪ She ain't got a lotta money But, loving, she's really got a lot ♪ 623 00:37:41,515 --> 00:37:42,683 ♪ All right ♪ 624 00:37:47,479 --> 00:37:49,940 ♪ That's my gal, man That's my gal... ♪ 625 00:37:50,482 --> 00:37:51,817 Alice. Alice. 626 00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,068 Alice! 627 00:37:53,151 --> 00:37:54,278 No, no, no. 628 00:37:54,361 --> 00:37:55,362 Stop filming. 629 00:37:56,154 --> 00:37:57,154 Cut to commercial... 630 00:38:02,411 --> 00:38:04,955 Do you have any idea 631 00:38:05,038 --> 00:38:07,249 how much trouble you could get the station in? 632 00:38:07,332 --> 00:38:08,792 You're out of control. 633 00:38:08,875 --> 00:38:10,294 No, Mom. 634 00:38:10,377 --> 00:38:12,671 I am in complete control. 635 00:38:12,754 --> 00:38:15,007 I knew exactly what I was doing and why. 636 00:38:17,551 --> 00:38:18,802 What? 637 00:38:18,885 --> 00:38:20,762 Now, Mother, may I please be excused 638 00:38:20,846 --> 00:38:23,223 from future episodes of Riverdale Grandstand? 639 00:38:27,602 --> 00:38:29,021 You are off the show! 640 00:38:30,647 --> 00:38:33,108 But you broke my heart, Betty. 641 00:38:43,618 --> 00:38:45,287 You rang, Ms. Veronica? 642 00:38:46,830 --> 00:38:48,081 Yes, Smithers. 643 00:38:49,124 --> 00:38:51,793 I'd like you to send a telegram to my parents. 644 00:38:53,712 --> 00:38:56,173 Dear Mom and Dad. Stop. 645 00:38:56,256 --> 00:39:00,344 I am now the new owner of the Babylonium. Stop. 646 00:39:00,427 --> 00:39:03,930 Which will never turn into a parking lot. Stop. 647 00:39:05,891 --> 00:39:08,352 My best to Uncle Orson. Stop. 648 00:39:16,151 --> 00:39:17,319 Hey, Kev. 649 00:39:17,402 --> 00:39:18,402 Clay. 650 00:39:19,029 --> 00:39:21,073 What are you guys doing for lunch? 651 00:39:22,199 --> 00:39:23,200 Um... 652 00:39:23,784 --> 00:39:26,745 Sorry, Archie, my basketball days are over. 653 00:39:26,828 --> 00:39:28,080 Yeah, I heard. 654 00:39:28,163 --> 00:39:30,457 I was actually hoping to break bread with you guys. 655 00:39:30,540 --> 00:39:34,044 Talk about things like music, plays, movie stars. 656 00:39:37,589 --> 00:39:38,589 Why not? 657 00:39:40,092 --> 00:39:41,385 Yeah, sure. 658 00:39:41,468 --> 00:39:43,261 Oh, that's boss. 659 00:39:43,345 --> 00:39:45,055 Save me a spot in the lounge. 660 00:39:52,562 --> 00:39:54,189 ♪ I'm a hot mama ♪ 661 00:39:55,148 --> 00:39:58,402 - ♪ I'm known by that name ♪ - ♪ Hot mama ♪ 662 00:39:58,485 --> 00:40:00,612 ♪ I'm just a hot mama ♪ 663 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,409 - ♪ I'm known by that name ♪ - ♪ Hot mama ♪ 664 00:40:05,492 --> 00:40:06,701 ♪ Hot mama ♪ 665 00:40:06,785 --> 00:40:11,289 ♪ Hands off, daddy If you can't cool the plane ♪ 666 00:40:11,373 --> 00:40:13,375 ♪ Hot mama, hot mama ♪ 667 00:40:13,458 --> 00:40:17,587 ♪ I'm warning all you chicks Telling you what's right ♪ 668 00:40:17,671 --> 00:40:19,256 ♪ Hot mama ♪ 669 00:40:19,339 --> 00:40:23,593 ♪ Yeah, I'm warning all you chicks Telling you what's right... ♪ 670 00:40:27,973 --> 00:40:29,349 Ms. Cooper. 671 00:40:29,433 --> 00:40:32,644 Might I have a word with you in my office? 672 00:40:34,146 --> 00:40:36,231 Your mother called me last night. 673 00:40:36,314 --> 00:40:37,983 She's very concerned. 674 00:40:38,066 --> 00:40:40,277 About you and your... 675 00:40:41,069 --> 00:40:42,612 erratic behavior. 676 00:40:42,696 --> 00:40:47,242 Yes, well, a teenage girl with a mind and desires of her own, 677 00:40:47,325 --> 00:40:49,411 it's all very concerning, isn't it? 678 00:40:51,705 --> 00:40:52,831 Hmm. 679 00:41:01,715 --> 00:41:05,093 You're so tortured, Betty. 680 00:41:07,888 --> 00:41:09,848 What are we going to do with you? 681 00:41:12,476 --> 00:41:15,395 And with Dr. Werthers shifting his glowering attention 682 00:41:15,479 --> 00:41:16,646 from me to Betty... 683 00:41:18,231 --> 00:41:21,610 I was now able to continue my budding comic career on twin tracks 684 00:41:22,694 --> 00:41:24,821 with the prospect of Mr. Rayberry as my mentor 685 00:41:24,905 --> 00:41:28,033 keeping me up and typing late into the night. 686 00:41:44,633 --> 00:41:45,633 Evening, sir. 687 00:41:46,301 --> 00:41:48,303 Apologies for the late delivery.